Through rain, sleet, snow or gloom of night the mail must go through! That is the battle cry of the U.S. Postal Service (USPS). I’ll certainly buy that bit! The only question that continuously haunts me is not through what … but when??? Lord knows the USPS is the butt of numerous jokes and an easy target for media critics. And, after the latest (ahem) postal delivery of the November/December issue of SPORTS ’N SPOKES (S’NS), it did not take a geat deal of persuasion for me to question the efficiency of the folks that move the mail for the citizens of our county.
Possibly the postal people are overworked and underpaid. I really don’t know. What I do know is that when it comes to moving magazines with a second class bulk permit (which I might add, to obtain I nearly had to promise the rights to my firstborn), the USPS has a long way to go (even in perfect weather).
You might ask, “Well, cheapo, why don’t you send the publication by another class: first, third, fourth … someth’n??” In order to send the magazine first class, the cost of a one-year subscription would quadruple; everything in the post office moves before third class; and the multitudinous regulations that the postal service has designed prevents the magazine from going fourth class.
If ever I were asked to define the publishing business in one word, that word would be DEADLINES. That is a word not to be found in any USPS regulation — except when a rate hike is announced. The S’NS staff scours the world, giving deadlines to those who wish to have their material printed. The copy is prepared by a predetermined date for the typesetter. Then the proofreader, art director, printer and binder all have their deadlines to meet, regardless of equipment failure or labor problems. Finally, the mailer labels and packages the issues and delivers them to the USPS dock on time. At that point in the publishing process, everyone from the editor to the driver of the mailer’s truck is terrified. Can you imagine, after burning the midnight oil to meet all these deadlines — keeping the typesetter up to all hours of the night, breathing down the printer’s neck and reviving an exhausted art director — placing such an item that has taken weeks of work, stress and energy into the hands of the U.S. Postal Service? Stark fear sets in as gloom and doom prevail until … three weeks to a month later an excited reader from Brooklyn, N.Y., calls to say, “Youse guys did it again!” The gloomy setting partially lifts ’cause the sports wheelers in Maine still have to wait a few more days for their issue. Two weeks is reasonable to expect for delivery across the United States with a second class rate, but one month!? The November/December test copy that is sent to the S’NS office took two weeks to arrive after its November 20th mailing … and the postal station is only 2 miles away!
Postal people have told me through the years that “not one piece of mail stays in one place for more than 24 hours.” Sounds good to me, but the only thing I can figure out is that yes, the mail never stays in one place for more than a day — they just move it from one corner of the station to the other.
I really hate to put a bad mouth on the postal people of the U.S., but geeze … c’mon, this is a highly mobile, technological world we live in. ’Course it could be worse. We could be mailing out of Canada. We have a ton of patient subscribers up north. When they receive an issue, they thank God for the miracle!
This year marks SPORTS ’N SPOKES’ 50th anniversary, and as part of the yearlong celebration of this major milestone, this special department is dedicated to some of the best columns from founder Cliff Crase. This month’s Classic Cliff is from the January 1982 issue of SPORTS ’N SPOKES.